The recent demise of a great spiritual leader, Sai Baba of Puttapathri brought lots of emotions and tears from all around the country. From daily labourers to multimillion dollar businessmen, people from every walk of life – the middle class armchair theorists, film celebrities, sportsmen, politicians and even the prime minister mourned his death and paid homage to his lifeless body. Even though some of these newsmakers had to attend the funeral out of moral obligations, there were a whole lot of men who flocked around the place due to their belief in the leader. Many more paid silent homage and shed tears for their holy Guru at their homes. These are people with such great faith in a single being – human or God, whoever he may be. What is interesting is their unflinching faith, the hope that we could see in their eyes, the trust that Satya Sai Baba is the messenger of God.
Not only in this particularly instance I am wondered at the great trust and hope , but also the general hope people keep in their respective Gods and the great length of pain and suffering they undertake in satisfying the needs of their heart and thereby making themselves closer to their God. For the past few days I’ve been witnessing scenes of a holy Hindu gathering to do bhajans at Kamarajar Hall, Chennai. The crowd that gathers is shocking and the animated dances people do in their own trance amazes me. Such huge faith in their God makes them forget their pain, anger, sufferings, pleasure and needs and surrender themselves to their God. How many times do we see seventy and eighty year old men and women standing up from their seats, cheering the singer and dancing to the merry rhythms of the tune? These are the results of pure Bhakti that these people have in their God. This is just an example and am sure that each religion will have a similar story to say. Really, these are the fortunate folks who have such unshakable faith in a being.
Many philosophers of Hindu Dharma say that to experience the essence of God is a rare treasure and is not found by many. Only the fortunate few get such out of the world pleasures. This was repeated in the recent bhajans and my parents backed it too! So what about me? Actually I do support this! Only the fortunate few get such privileges. And if asked whether I belong to that fortunate few category, I am very disappointed in myself that I do not belong to that exclusive group.
Believing to God and praying to god is a wonderful experience. Being a very strong believer of God for almost twenty years I know and do understand the high ecstasy and beatitude people experience in such a practice. When lonely, God gives support; when sad, He gives strength to carry on your sadness till it becomes light; when an injustice is being done to you, He calms you down and reminds you that justice shall prevail in the end; and when all hope is lost; he stands with you and comforts you in your heart. Thus the uses and advantages of believing in God are many. And naturally the unfortunate people like me are stripped of such advantages.
Being made clear that I have no belief in God, people may get the impression that I hate God or I don’t want God to exist etc… But it is exactly the opposite. I fervently wish for God’s existence. I crave for His presence and I am in constant search for signs that insinuate His presence or His identity. After twenty years of being a God believer something hit me hard on my head and made me see the real stupid world and made me realise the bold, raw and daring truth about God. Though brain seems to acknowledge and accept the idea, the inner mind doesn’t want it to be true. At times of distress, unconsciously my mind drifts to God and does a silent prayer even before I try to counteract with the thought to stop it.
On a recent Tirupati trip, one and half months back, which I made only for the sole reason of being an adventurous journey, one of my friends casually said,” Never play with Lord Balaji, he will definitely make you suffer at some point, will you make think about the prank you played with him and will make you resent it”. Again, such an extreme faith. Bravo!! Got touched. For a moment, I wanted to believe his words without further questions and accept them passively! How good would be a world with God!!! Hence I made this small bet with God at this juncture. I prayed, or to say exactly, made a challenge with Lord Balaji for three things. One year time period was given for accomplishment of any one of the three prayers. If atleast one of the three prayers comes true, I would gladly and definitely start believing in God and would further reach the temple by walk itself. But if it doesn’t happen, then I would have to remain in the unfortunate group and be damned forever! One and half months, has passed and still ten more months to go. Let’s see who wins in the end. Hope God wins! Keeping my fingers crossed!
At times, it is better to remain blind and exist in our own virtual world rather than opening our eyes and getting disappointed with the reality!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
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7 comments:
i wish ur wishes come true, and i wish god does that ;)
The best thing is that u want God to come and prove himself to you.. Whether he exists or not, what is the need that if he does, he come and prove himself to u???I don get it.. U cant ask the sun to come into ur home and show u its face.. U need to come out of the home to see it. If u dont, the sun has no loss.only u'll be left in the dark:):)
Ramayana says that Mother Sita went ahead to prove her innocence by jumping into fire only when Lord Ram as a husband asked her to do so. But when the same Ram as a king asked her to do it at Ayodhya to gain the trust of the people of his kingdom ,she said 'No' to it:)
Consider that wat u thought happens. and u start trusting God. What guarentee can u giv that one more such wish taken by u is not granted... will u stop trusting God again or wat????i don understand...!!!
i dont want to discuss other things, but all i feel is that its not so wise to judge the existance of God by such a 'toss of coin' kinda technique:)
@Vini: i too wish for the same!!
@ sreenath: Deii its not like tat! I am not saying against God or am proving that there is no God. I want to believe in God and His existence. But i am unable to accept his presence as it is. I want God to prove His presence!!! That is wat education has taught me for the past 15 years!! Prove and then accept a hypothesis!!
thats wat i'm asking..seems lik u want god to market himself to make u worship him..u expect God to knock ur door and make u worship him.that may happen with few false swamiji's of the day.but not with Almighty. I reiterate this: if u wanna see sun, u need to come out of ur home. u cant expect sun to come within ur home to prove u his existance...!!!
i felt that ur challenge is lik sayin 'if i must trust sun,let him come into my home and show me his face'... otherwise i wont trust....
Wat u say is correct in case of an object or life without conscience. But since God is trusted to be person who is the conscience himself and who is all powerful i expect him to prove him to me!! Myth says of people seeing God and asking boons. That may be a difficult thing. But all i am asking is for a very small thing. I think he would do that!!!
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