Who am I?

To all the patient readers of my blog, i know you would all by know been confused. Initially I talked about Sankara and Advaita, then gradually moved to atheism and claimed that there is no ‘God’. Then suddenly I post a poem of Siva! So who am I? Well, I too am not sure as to which side I am in!

1. I am undoubtedly believer of Advaita, so am an advaitin! I have kept Adi Sankara and his advaita principles at great awe and respect.

2. I am a person who believes that there is only one single source of power and accept many of the universal facts present in Vedas – the source and origin of advaita philosophy.

3. I do accept Sankara’s idea of Shanamta worship ( pray to any of the following six Gods: Siva, Vishnu, Sakthi, Ganesh, Skandha and Suryanarayana) and the ideologies behind it.

Just because am a believer of Advaita doesn’t mean I have to worship God. Advaita says, ‘Atman is Brahman’. That fact is accepted. But what is the need to pray and worship that Brahman (God in general terms)? Yes it is true that there is a single source of power and that everything originated from that single source of power. It has even been proved scientifically. But why should we worship that source? We humans originate from carbon, hydrogen, oxygen and many other elements. Just because we are made of these elements do we worship them? No, because for the simple reason that we don’t find any conscience in them. I wonder who told people that the almighty powerful single source has a conscience. What if the source is just raw power and nothing else? If it is so, then isn’t it similar to praying to a battery or to electricity?

Some of the facts present in Vedas are undeniable and holds good even to this day. But in the modern day world there has been many changes that could not have been predicted in the vedic ages. So naturally some of them are unpractical and unacceptable. An example would be good here.

Vedas point out that Brahmins are not supposed to undergo travel to foreign countries, most importantly not to cross seas and oceans. Reason: Brahmins are vegetarians. So travelling through ships for months together would mean no vegan diet and hence they would be forced to eat fish! Secondly, Brahmins don’t have any work in foreign countries in the social setup of the vedic ages. Their work was to do Yagnas for the welfare of the country. Clearly we could see why it need not be followed now. Travel by air just takes a few hours and they do provide us with vegetarian food. Also the vedic social hierarchy has long been collapsed and Brahmins in the present day are present in all statuses of the society, from doctors to businessmen.

Sankara’s shanmatha tradition was to narrow down the whole range of Gods present in India to a minimum of six. His idea was that once people start following this practice along with advaita principles they would realize the truth about the singularity of God! They would realise the truth, ‘Atman is Brahman!’ Another reason is that you cannot make lesser intellectuals understand the vast and highly deep ideas of Advaita. So it is always better to make them worship a defined set of deities instead of allowing them pray to whatever they find around them, from trees to rocks. It is also one of the reasons that he brought this tradition. But after 1500 years, the tradition is almost forgotten and advaita is a long forgotten word.

So who am I? A person, who believes in a supreme power source (God), and does not believe that worshipping that source, would bring about any change in the lives of humans, since it is of my opinion that there is no need for God to have conscience. But as a matter of fact I find it so hard to put every pressure, tension and stress with myself. I require a vent by which I can let myself free of these feelings. There is no better way of doing it than praying to God. It creates a protective feeling that I have a guard around me, a sense of hope when it seems all is lost. So I do pray to God just to overcome the above said reasons. May be I am a pseudo-atheist, a person who believes that there is no God but still prays and worships God not because I believe any miracle would change my life in a minutes time but just to keep myself comfortable!

According to Hinduism, a person who doesn’t believe in God isn’t considered to be an atheist. An atheist is a person who doesn’t believe in Vedas. But since I believe in Vedas am not an atheist. I am not an agonist since I have no confusion regarding the presence of God. I am sure that there is God! I am not a theist either since I don’t technically accept the presence of a God with conscience! Yes am also confused to the same extent like everyone else who is reading this post!

Comments are welcome as to who you think I am.

சிவ சிவா!! (Siva Sivaa!!)

கருமை கதிர் வீசும் ஜடாமுடி
அதில் அழகே அமர்ந்துள்ள அரைதிங்கள்
நடராஜனுடன் இணைந்தாடும்,
மெல்லிடை கொண்டு,வளைந்து ஆடும்-
ஆகாச கங்கை!

ஞாயிறை இருதுண்டாக கொண்ட கண்கள்
அதன் மேல் ஞாயிறையும் சுட்டெரிக்கும் நெற்றிக்கண்.
ஆலகால நஞ்சை அமுதென அருந்தி
அண்டத்தை காத்த கருநீல சங்குடையான்.

கருநீல கொடியநஞ்சுடைய நாகத்தை
அணியாக அணிந்த மணிகண்டா

நீ என்னுள் சரி பாதி- உமையாளே
நான் உன்னுள் ஒரு பாதி
என பகுத்தறிவு ஊட்டிய வேதநாயகா

அண்டத்தை அழிக்கும் சர்வ சம்ஹாரா!
நீ என்னை அழித்து,
உன்னை என்னில் புகற்றி,
என்னை காப்பாய் ருத்ரநாதா!

நான் உன்னை சரணடைந்தேன் பரபிரம்மமே!!



The english font for people who cant read tamil!

Karumai kathir veesum jataamudi
Adhil azhage amarnthulla araithingal
Nataraajanudan inaindhaadum,
Mellidai Kondu,Valaindhu aadum,
Akaasa gangai

Gnaayirai iruthundaaga konda kannkal
Adhan mel gnaayiraiyum sutterikkum Netrikkann
Aalakaala nanjai amudhena arundhi
Andathai kaatra karuneela sangudaiyaan.

Karuneela kodiyananjudaiya naagathai
Aniyaaga anindha manigandaa

Nee ennul sari paadhi- Umaiyaale
Naan unnul oru paadhi
Ena pagutharivu oottiya Veda naayagaa

Andathai azhikkum Sarva Samhaara!!
Nee ennai azhithu,
Unnai ennil pugatri,
Ennai kappai Rudranadaa!

Naan unai saranadainthen parabrahmame!!

Anticipation

Sitting lonely on the edge of seat,
Waiting from dawn with eyes full of hope,
Holding my breath to get a glimpse
Of her lovely sparkling face.

Thinking of the times we had,
Celebrating the moments we spent,
Dreaming of living them again,
I wait alone for my first love.

The starry nights we spent together,
The fights we had every month,
When you’d vanish without a trace,
For three whole days
And then return with a sheepish little grin.

Patience slipping away,
Anxiety filling in,
Fear creeping in,
And light fading out.

The awaited moment arrives,
When the precious times would return,
As I see her rising between the mountains,
My first love; my reason for life.

Indebted perpetually

A flickering flame,
A dying battle
And a lost soul
Was all that remained in me.

Thoughts obscured,
Ideals violated
And morality loosened
Made life a living hell.

Hope - a farmer’s dream,
Life - a donkey’s burden,
Ambition – a poet’s banter
And I – a speck of dirt
Until they found
The remains of my long lost soul.

Taking me along with them,
Talking sense into me,
And feeding in the fuel
For the fire in me to burn again.

Life – a rebirth,
Pain – a memento,
Dream – an inspiration,
And thoughts a new hope.

Hope – a lighthouse
To cross the sea of life,
And ready to face the tides of misery
Over the boat of self assurance.

Despair to confidence,
Pain to power,
Dope to hope,
And from death to redemption.

To every life who trusted on me,
To every mate who kindled me,
And made me bear the mammoth responsibility,
Am indebted perpetually!


(Truly indebted to a whole lot of friends who were with me during my distressed times as well as happy times, helped me, encouraged me, inspired me and set an example for me... This is for all of them!! :))

Lost Love

Translation of tamil poem ,"காதல் இன்றி அமையாது இவ்வுலகு!!" by my friend Ruban! The link: http://thamizhkavithaigal.weebly.com/

Here goes the translation:
Lost Love

My heart skipped a beat or two-
When I opened out my love.
The moment you disregarded it,
My heart came to a halt.
Though I lost myself in love,
Never will I let love to get lost.

Glad that you never chose me!
For if you had,
My triads would have faded.

Glad that you never chose me!
As now my words portray,
Every angel my eyes stray.

Burying in my lost love,
I save shards of bereft love
And a few left out verses
For the love of my life.

And the original tamil version by Ruban:
காதல் சொல்லி
நீ ‘இல்லை’ என்று சொன்ன
வார்த்தையின் இறுதியில்
இறந்தே போனேன் நான்!

நான் தோற்றுப் போனாலும்
நெஞ்சில் முடக்கி வைத்து
தோற்க விடவில்லை-காதலை!!!

நீ எனக்கு கிடைத்திருந்தால்
உன்னோடே முற்றுப் பெற்றிருக்கும்
என் கவிதைகள் எல்லாம்!

இப்போதோ கண்ணில்படும் தேவதைகள்
யாவரும் கவிதைக்கு கருப்பொருள் ஆகிறார்கள்!

காதல் என்னை துளைத்து வெளியேறியதால் தான்
நான் மனிதனாகிப் போனேன்- ஏன்!
புனிதனாய் கூட மாறிப் போனேன்!!!

காதல் முழுவதையும், கொஞ்சம் கவிதைகளையும்
சேமித்து வைக்கிறேன்-
என் வருங்கால வாழ்க்கைக்காக!!

Scarred Eternally!

A thought so deeply etched in memory
Of a Knife plunged deep into my heart.
A dream that haunts me every night
Of an unfulfilled promise!

Should you come into my life?
And scar me eternally?

The promise of holding hands
And growing old together!
The assurance of a support
In times of need and despair.

Oh silvery old moon!
Why did you have to vanish?
To give way to new moon?

Leaving behind a shadow
Of the times we spent
And the dreams we shared-
A deep crater in my heart.

Should you come into my life?
And scar me eternally?

Ganga

High up above I start my life,
From the icy peaks and glaciers,
As a mere tiny creek from the melt,
A small puddle of pristine water.

Jumping across rocks,
Flowing through ravines,
I come down gushing into valley
Gaining more power, momentum and silt.

Tumbling down from the mountains,
I begin to alter the environ,
Changing the shape of my surroundings
Thus blossoming the life of lives

All is well till monsoon arrives.
Picking up momentum and quantity,
I rage on uncontrollably,
On my own free will.

Wreckage, Havoc, Destruction and Pandemonium,
Death, Sickness, Epidemic and misery,
Are the souvenirs I leave by,
To be remembered for one whole year.

Hope among despair
A lotus among the ditch,
Is the silt I leave by,
The seed of the fertile land.