Dosai Down Down!!

How could anyone think of something as stupid as this? How could they do it? Why the hell did they do it? How did they come with the correct mixture for such an yuckish dish? Why does everyone get so interested with such a bland food? OMG!!! Just how do people manage to eat it…

I was forced not only to eat this completely plain and tasteless south Indian dish but also to make twenty of the same for my parents and sisters. Pure disgust and loathing imploded in me as I started doing it in the non-stick pan. Seems quite funny that making it is quite easy but eating it requires immense courage and more powerful throat muscles to gulp it down. Further one must have control over their inner tongue since taking a piece of it through the inner mouth definitely creates a sense of nausea when it gets stuck there for a second. Some people like to have it “moru moru”. Oh my God! That definitely tears your mouth. Never ever try it.

Yes… All this hatred is for the famous south Indian dish and my archenemy (in food) – Dosa. I do not know why I have such hatred quite contrary to the fact that I too am a South Indian, who has been in Chennai since birth. Whenever I see people eating it in restaurants, it is amusing. When some of the people I know get excited at the thought of eating dosa I get more amused and look at them with astonishment, contempt and pity. And when I am forced to eat it during breakfast or dinner I get angry on my parents! ;)

What is there in it anyway? For all I know, it’s just rice flour and some other flours mixed together and how did people get to like it so much that it has risen to the point of being a trademark of Chennai and South India.

How much do I hate dosa is a question for which I would like to answer. If I ever get to become a dictator or prime minister of India my first rule would be: Henceforth, preparation and consumption of Dosa at any public outlets, restaurants, motels, public gatherings is illegal and a punishable offence.

Today I had to eat for this horrible circular thing as dinner. The pain is still fresh and hot in my heart just like the hot dosas. It may be a single man’s woe and suffering but this soul will never give up till I get to the bottom of this injustice meted out to me by the society!

‘Dosai Ozhiga!!!’ (Dosai Down Down!!!)